I got the notion to try cleansing in January when other bloggers were joining in. I thought it would be perfect for me, because I’m lactose intolerant but I don’t let that stop me from eating as much pizza as I can.

By and by, I put off the cleansing process, presumably scared by the cost of doing a BP Cleanse. So I decided to try my own take by only drinking water and Naked® juices. This is probably dangerous. I’m not a licensed dietician, so don’t follow my lead.

Day 1 — Green Machine

5:05pm — I got a late start to the day by waking up at noontime. I have not eaten anything, but I have chewed gum. Oops. I’ve been drinking water, however. Gonna crack open the first juice now.

5:15pm — After going into the kitchen to get my first juice, I notice every food I could eat. Uh oh. First juice is “green machine,” which contains 5 3/4 apples, 1 banana, 1 kiwi, 3/4 mango, and a little bit of pineapple. It’s also got spirulina, chlorella, broccoli, spinach, blue green algae, garlic, barley grass, wheat grass, ginger, and parsley. How does it taste?

5:30pm —

6:20pm — I just saw a blog post about Johnny Depp ironing sandwiches, and started thinking about grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches. And then I looked sullenly at the green machine.

8:30pm — My concentration…

11:00pm — has sucked today. I haven’t worked! Hoping tomorrow is better. Kinda hungry though. Walk around the house seeing food. On Tumblr there’s food. Friend sent me videos of celebrity Burger King ads. Getting hungrier typing this.

11:20pm — I feel like cutting my hair off. Chewing on Altoids.

11:40pm —

Day 2 — Berry Blast

2:20pm — We’ve been in a tornado warning. A funnel touched down a few blocks away. I just took a swig of bottle #2, berry blast, my favorite. Anxiety level is up, and food comforts me. So… hungry. lol

4:05pm — This is hard.

5:20pm — I’ve survived the tornado. Now I feel like doing everything, including eat.

6:45pm — berry blast is going well. I’m hungry but I’ve contained my hunger for now. I have the juice on my desk while I’m surfing the web, and it’s nearby while I’m packing up my clothes to give away or just to prepare for moving in (hopefully) 3 months. For now, I’m going to put the juice in the fridge and drink water until I’m ravenously hungry again.

8:30pm — Revisited the D Magazine article by Jennifer Chininis, which inspired the format for this cleanse. Don’t mind me. Drafting my to-eat list for 11:59:59 tomorrow.

9:30pm —

10:50pm — Oh hi, headaches. Amanda says she will ship me a cake if I win this cleanse. Challenge accepted.

11:00pm — My stomach just got sassy with me.

Day 3 — Strawberry Banana

12:40am — Day 3, thank god.

3:15pm — I’m not hungry right now. I haven’t started bottle #3: strawberry banana. But soon. I feel like getting out of the house and to the park to sketch a bit. Feeling a bit quarantined. But I know that as soon as I get out, I’ll want to eat something. Sigh. Good thing I love challenges, eh? Also, I noticed last night that I went to the bathroom maybe 4 times within an hour.

3:30pm —

9:00pm — Yes! 3 hours left!!! This strawberry banana juice is kinda nasty. I thought I would like it more than the green monster.

9:45pm — To take my mind off of eating even though a fast food raid is planned, Brandon and I are going to see the movie, Mirror Mirror.

10:20pm — This is a really good movie. So funny. Julia Roberts as a villain? She can do no wrong.

11:50pm — “I believe believe believe believe believe believe in LOVE” and food. Where it at?!?!?!?!?

11:59pm — I made it!!!!!!!! Yay!!!! Cleanse is over!!

I updated this post regularly from April 2 until the cleanse was over on April 4, 11:59pm.