Yes. It’s hard to admit that I have a fear of failure and success. The prospect of both keeps you stagnant, I think—trepidated to do anything else but stand still. My failing fear kicks in especially when it seems too good to be true. One recent case is in dating. When a guy is smiling at me too much, I start thinking, “What the heck is wrong with this guy?!” Nobody just smiles at me adoringly like that. I’m not one of those “girls” that people get goo-goo eyed over. I’m more or less the one they guffaw at and hide their kids, wives, and husbands from.
Then again there’s also the fear of success. What if everything goes right and I’ll be happy? Doesn’t sound like much of a fear, huh? Well, think about it this way: what if you get everything you’ve dreamed about and all is well and you’re happy. And then something bad happens or a series of things, and you lose it all. How do you survive that?
Fear is irrational, though. While those things could happen, who’s to say that you would not survive those tragedies? Who’s to say in that time of losing or failing that they would be tragedies anyway? They could in turn be a blessing that guides you into a higher person or being.
I’m learning to ride the wave, whether it sends me to the depths of the ocean or catapults me to Mars.
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