October 2012:

This post had been sitting in my draft queue for almost a year. I might’ve posted it then but felt it was probably really harsh and the wording wasn’t clear enough to not sound like I was attacking people for not being there for me, which is not the case. I was really upset and frustrated and lost. I needed help and no matter where I turned I got “I can’t help you.”

What I realized from that moment of reaching out and having no one to grab me was that sometimes you just have to grab yourself. Eh…. You know what I mean.

I remember that I did indeed have a short period of not reaching out to anyone. In this period I learned to do what I was planning to do all along: listen to my inner voice and ask myself what do I need.

In that instant, I wasn’t wanting companionship (someone to hold my hand). I was wanting someone to make my decisions for me. I was cheating myself.

I was talking to a friend who is going through a rough time, and something he said reminded me of that very post. I went looking for it, re-read it, and without thinking, I just posted it.

Not all relationships are perfect and not all relationships are going to provide for your every need and the things you think you need.

As for me, what I need(ed) is to realize my own potential for solving my own problems. Not saying that communicating your feelings and thoughts aren’t warranted but sometimes talking to and, more importantly, listening to yourself are actually good things.