The Mirage of the Bad Guy / Concourse Contra

2 Replies

I think if you are still affected by something someone did to you a while ago, especially when that person is no longer in that role (albeit a family member or lover, etc.), then you are not allowing yourself to heal. If you are still blaming that person for what they did wrong as if they are still doing it, then you are allowing yourself to be a victim. You are not only (further) damaging that person’s integrity but your own by not allowing yourself to move on. You are still trying to drink from the carton of year’s old milk. You should throw it away. Discontinue living in pain and discord. There’s so much else to embrace, particularly forgiveness.

We all make misteaks….*

I can’t take
the Happy Ending Way,
I’m bound for the Long Road;
     contra
                 our paths curve away.

Farewell-embraces and well-wishes;
the airport, we’re arrivals departing
I’ll walk and you’ll run,
both with shoes untied.

And on that Long Road, I will stop
— stare at the Sun, and
I can remember
a Shared Path.

* Unless they’re intentional.

  • B

    We all make mistakes, but we should learn from them and not continue to make those mistakes. It is hard to move forward when the person you love and have been waiting for two years to be ready continues in the same pattern; coming in and out of your life, being hot and then cold, in and out of love, ready then not ready; all the while and after you have tried to make peace with the past and move forward.

    It is hard when that person expresses they only want to be your friend, and then in random moments weeks later express their love and desire to be with you; their plans to marry you and have kids with you, and even then it feels like an “in the moment” sentiment, not a concrete conviction of the heart and mind, or maybe a conviction of a timid heart. When someone says one thing yet lives another it means they are a conflicted somehow.

    I understand it. It usually comes from being in a place of not really knowing yourself, or what you want in life; A conflicted or double-mindedness. I think we all have those times in life, but we have to be careful especially when it involves another person’s heart.

    It is much like the squirrel, when upon seeing a car coming down the road, cannot decide whether he should move to the right or left, so he dashes right, then left, then right, then left… and finds himself in the middle of the road; the same place where he started. We all know what happens to that squirrel. We cannot ride the fence throughout our life, because it keeps us stagnant and unable to achieve our dreams. We have to get off the fence and follow our truth.

    I agree that we should not play the victim in life, but rather take control of our own life. We are after all, responsible for our own happiness and it starts by knowing ourselves fully and honestly and then living it out. We should never play with the heart of another person, especially those that we love and care for!
    We must learn from the past, hope for the future, and LIVE in the present with all fullness of joy and an open and honest heart, following our convictions and truth to the end.
    You are a great writer and an amazing guy! :) . Much love, joy, and peace in your life and success on your journey!
    Love -B

    • http://www.treavioli.com Treavioli

      Thank you for your comment. I wanted to wait until I had the clarity to understand and respond.

      I wrote this after seeing someone I love treat me the same way I treated them. It made me sad because I realized that I was only pushing away the person I wanted close. In other words, I was hurting us both.

      I’m sure you can relate, having been “the squirrel” that it is very hard to keep the line drawn between the present and the past, especially when love is involved. When you’ve been hurt a lot, you want to let it go and forget. It’s a process. Maybe it will always hurt and sting, but if you choose to love maybe it’s the aloe on the wound that will help you heal properly.

      It’s something I am learning. I never knew that Love could heal a person, but it does! To open your heart — to give as well as receive it from nature, from another; to breathe in and out and to be grateful for every breath… it’s so beautiful. It’s beautiful to have loved and been loved in our lives.

      It’s important to learn from the past. Our view changes the further away we get from the event or person (perspective), I learn new things every day, and it helps me to reach a peace about the ill things I’ve experienced. It helps me to appreciate the present — that I’ve survived, that life goes on, and there is still more to experience and to learn.

      Life is beautiful, so is love. And so are you. Thank you again for your comment. Sorry it took me so long to respond.