I’m sitting on my old bed at my mom’s house in the country, listening to the new mix I’m working on, and realizing that it’s basically an audio travelogue of my life — most especially the journey of the past year. I’m remembering the many nights I sat in this half-room wanting to be elsewhere, on some adventure. I was so depressing as a youth. When you grow up in what you feel is your hell, you’re always looking for the happy ending.
But as you get older you realize that the happy ending is really the end of the road, the end of life. Who wants to wait for the last breath to be happy? You never know when that exit arrives. Some people are so afraid of it that they never live and enjoy the one thing in life that’s theirs. To enjoy life by saying “yes” to the things in your head and doing them, living them, breathing them is the only way to have a happy ending.
I’ve lived my life in fear — of failure, of succeeding. This year I’ve faced my fears, and I cannot return to the fearful life of not taking chances.
I am always becoming, ever-evolving into the human being I am meant to be. I’ve always had a vision of who I’m meant to be. I just never thought I should be it. But all along the way there were voices saying, “Go. Do. Be.” And this year I finally listened to them. What time I have wasted fighting them and doubt and disbelief. My belief was everyone else’s disbelief. I finally became what I should’ve been — my own believer.
Thus far I’ve shared my triumphs and trip-ups. I will continue. Tomorrow is not a guarantee, but until it’s time to go I will live my life as an adventure with the solid vow of no regrets. That is the key to obtaining my happy ending.
To my fellow dreamer: the silly ideas in your head may indeed be silly. But give birth to them anyway, breathe life into them, feed them with inspiration from other sources and from you, teach them how to walk, enjoy what journeys they take you on, and rejoice in the fact that they wouldn’t have been materialized or experienced unless you had tried. Listen to your voices.
“Go. Do. Be.”