August was full of experiencing the finer things in life while also experiencing some growing pains. I felt like it was a very “real” month. I came to terms with some personal realities, tracing them back to my childhood, and figuring out how I can cope or obliterate them in my present and future. You’ve got to be good to yourself.
I have a problem with emotional responsibility, in that I take on all of the responsibility. Once I realized that it carried through in my most important relationships — relationships where I needed reciprocated affection — I nipped in the bud right then and there. Accepting someone else’s fault for their emotions has caused me emotional distress when it definitely shouldn’t have. Immediately I came up with a solution that I’m thinking will resolve the issue: calling people out right then and there rather than after I’ve felt panic, guilt, remorse, fear, and anger within a few hours.
Cheers to good emotional health and emotional maturity.
Getting boggled down with a project and realizing that relationships with clients are like personal relationships: choose your battles. In the end, they are paying you and ultimately it’s their product. Even though I want to put my best foot forward and have people fall in love with my work that’s out there, I have to learn to let things go. The original vision can still be presented elsewhere, so I’m learning to not lose sleep over little things. Besides the harsh learnin’, which is really not that harsh at all, design in August was fantastic.
I haven’t read much at all because I’ve been traveling, designing, and writing a lot, but I’m hoping to pick it up in September.
I think my favorite foodie moment was with Stacy and Newhouse at an Italian restaurant in Carmel. We had walked by it wanting to go in but didn’t they exacted four-legged people, so we past it on. But then we came upon one of the wait staff members by the trash cans in the alley and they assured us that the restaurant was dog friendly. We got outside seat in the courtyard, which was really nice. The ravioli I had was superb. Mmm.
“I’m getting to the point where I’m dreaming of finding love. Dreaming is something I used to do when I was a teenager, and it’s so amazing to feel that way again. The wanting, the forlorn, the hopeful sighing in the middle of the night. The uttering ‘where is he’ to vacant space. The wondering what it will be like.
And through all of this wanting, I’ve stifled adding the word ‘again’ at the end of each statement. I’ll never forget the first time I was in love, but I’ve begun to make room in my heart for a new love. I hope it’s equal and on level ground.
I cannot believe that I am feeling everything of this, almost a month later. I’ve been seeing someone really special, really cool, talented, creative, funny, goofy, fun, etc etc. He’s mature and gorgeous. And, any time I talk about him my English education goes out the window. He’s someone I care about, someone I can’t talk to or about enough. We don’t really have any issues or problems, which is strange and different from what I’m used to when I date guys. It seems like he and I are on the same page, and in the same place in life, except not physically in the same place since he lives 3 states over. But thank the Web gods for Skype and FaceTime, and not to mention texting. We communicate a lot. It’s just… awesome and odd how fast you ask for something and sometimes it happens. Definitely going to enjoy every second of it.
I think I may have gotten my soul-part back, too, as I feel I could love again.
I had planned to not travel at all in August but given that Stacy was moving to California, I took her up on the opportunity to get out of Texas for a while. I’m glad I did. I was able to help my friend into a new stage in her life. I also got to meet someone who I might help me into my next stage of life. See what happens when you help people and keep your heart open? :]
I also took a staycay in Downtown Dallas, which I don’t frequent enough. I’m always in Uptown thumping around. But visiting downtown was really nice. I stayed at the Adolphus, which I thought I had never heard or been to before, but as I stepped inside I realized that it was the venue for the Wheel of Fortune auditions from 2 years ago that I almost aced. Memories and swank. Good times.
What to expect for September 2012: September is my birth month, so I’ll probably be extra sentimental, most especially since I might be seeing someone. September will be a month of dreaming, and of course, the usual task-oriented stuff, but mostly dreaming.