Whoa, July! I tackled pacing myself and being ready for things and checking in on where I am development-wise. Am I ready to move out of Texas (financially, emotionally, etc.)? I spent a lot of time by myself, and a lot of time catching up with friends over frozen yogurt and tea. I also have been super productive, and although I am busy everyday, I’ve felt like I haven’t gotten much done this month. I suppose it’s because there are a ton of things on my to-do list. But since I’ve been dormant travel-wise I’ve actually crossed off old to-dos. Finally!
I finally started working as a contractor for a marketing company in Seattle. And it’s been great so far. I’m overwhelmed by how many personal design projects I have. But I think it’s going to force me to learn how to prioritize and to focus again.
I began a variety of books but haven’t finished them. Check out my goodreads to keep up with my progress and share yours.
I had Indian food for the first time, and it was good. Hot though. Jeez. I must’ve consumed 3 gallons of water and tea. I wasn’t as adventurous culinary-wise in July, but that’s probably attributed to my low Stacy exposure and lack of travel.
I’m not in love, but I have been dating like crazy. Right before my celibacy was lifted on July 15 (yay, 5 months!) I started dating again. I had every intention of doing my usual fling thing, but at the promise of a fling I found myself wanting to connect on a deeper level. I wanted to connect. So I’ve been dating, serial dating, I think they call it. No sleeping around like my 22-year old depressed and jaded self. No being closed like my 24-year old. But open-hearted like I’ve been working hard to be. It’s also very strange to notice that I’m more confident than the last time I dated. I know who I am inside and out, and I have no problem asking a guy out to a bar for a drink or for dinner or brunch.
It’s been amazing to meet new people and to connect. But… hehe, there’s always a but isn’t there?
But I’m getting to the point where I’m dreaming of finding love. Dreaming is something I used to do when I was a teenager, and it’s so amazing to feel that way again. The wanting, the forlorn, the hopeful sighing in the middle of the night. The uttering “where is he” to vacant space. The wondering what it will be like.
And through all of this wanting, I’ve stifled adding the word “again” at the end of each statement. I’ll never forget the first time I was in love, but I’ve begun to make room in my heart for a new love. I hope it’s equal and on level ground.
I can’t wait. Whoever you are.
Travelling this month consists of driving back and forth to Dallas, which I almost enjoy. I think I’m inching much closer to a more stagnant period, where there’s less of commuting and more walking within a reasonable distance. In other words, I’m ready to chill out for a while in my own apartment. Staying in my mom’s spare home in DFW has been super convenient and I appreciate it everyday, but it’s rough keeping up a house and it’s also tough going to Dallas and daydreaming a lot about living in my own place. It’s close. I know it will happen.
What to expect for August 2012: August is going to be an insane month of catching up, VEDA, finishing projects, clearing out stuff, being grounded, solidifying plans, dating more, saying goodbye to Stacy, and much more.