Making the decision to end a relationship based on the sole fact that you’re at different places in your respective lives makes too much sense, so much that it’s hard to rationale post-breakup. It seems easier to move on from a relationship if it was incredibly horrible and your ex was a douchebag.
But when it’s quite the opposite, how do you move on? I’ve asked myself this question several times and these are the four major things that I try to practice:
Delve into the things that make you happy.
But in doing the things that make you happy, you realize that you’ve shared these things with the person you just left; therefore, that person is everywhere.
But I think you have to find the strength to do them anyway. Reinvent them somehow, do your favorite things a different way. Ask a friend to do it with you to make new memories to not quite overwrite the ones with your ex but to associate them with another person.
Realize that everything will work out just fine.
Maybe you and your ex will come back to each other in another time and you’ll actually be on the same page. Don’t hold your breath until then. In fact, breathe more. If you’re like me, overthinking and wondering and over-analyzing can cause you to shorten your breath or even forget to breathe. By focusing more on your breathing you can actually thwart over-analyzing. Just stick to the facts: you love each other, it just wasn’t the right time.
Try not to worry.
Not that you shouldn’t learn from the relationship and even think about it, but if you find your mind spinning out of control over whether you made the right decision (even though you know in your heart you did), then you need to busy yourself. You can never exercise enough. Your friends and family need to see you, depressed or not. Do stuff and don’t sit at home in the dark worrying. Worrying prevents you from living fully. With that said, you should be doing the opposite of worrying: living.
Allow yourself to be and feel what you need.
This is most important. You’ll move on when you’re ready. In the meantime be sad if you feel sad, laugh when you feel inclined. Just allow yourself to be and heal. Don’t force it. Also, this does not include worrying. Worrying is not healthy for you.
These are working for me right now, so hopefully they’re of use to someone else.