Texan: Big deal. So you fell in love with someone.
Liz: I really miss him-
Texan: So miss him! Send him some light and love every time you think of him and drop it….
Texan: You know if you could clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using to obsess over this guy and your failed marriage, you’d have a vacuum with a doorway. You know what the universe could do with that doorway? Woom! Rush in! Fill you with more love than you’ve ever dreamed of. Man! …Groceries, I think you have the capacity one day to love the whole world.
Taken from the motion picture, Eat Pray Love.
I have a disorder. It’s called “try to save every relationship you’ve ever had with someone-itis.” Whether it was a random fling at 22 or a years-long relationship, I try and try to keep that person in my life. Why? Well, for me it’s not easy to like people and it’s not easy to let people in, so when I do, it’s a big deal. Quite frankly, at that point, you must stay in my life because the absence of you in it… is too precious for me.
I had written a post about forgiveness but unpublished because I felt I wasn’t ready to forgive myself; I felt I wasn’t an authority on forgiveness. Forgive myself about what, you may ask. Well, not being a good enough person to keep these people in my life.
It’s irrational and foolish to beat myself up that way, but I’m coming around.