A friend was contemplating leaving his girlfriend of 3 years, and I understood where he was coming from. The dilemma of wanting it to work but realizing it just won’t and can’t is undeniably rough. I left the decision up to him, but I told him it wasn’t easy either way. Your health and happiness could get better eventually, but that person will always be in your heart and mind. You’ll always remember the feeling of seeing and being with that person and want to connect.
I’ve been doing a great job so far in this so-called “rejuvenation” of my love life. My dating life hasn’t become my romantic life yet, and it has me thinking about what I miss about being in a relationship. I think it’s good to be honest with yourself. I think it can also be healthy to let yourself feel the feeling of longing or missing something, instead of objectively and intentionally not missing something or someone. If so, you’re not being honest with yourself aka you’re lying to yourself. No bueno. So I’ve listed 5 things that I miss about being in a relationship.
- the person. No matter what, you’ll always remember who that person was before the crazy, batsh*t fights. You’ll always consider that version of them to be their real face. That’s also what you think of during those batsh*t fights and what keeps you trying. It’s one of the things you will try to mute when you’ve decided that it can’t be repaired.
- the playful fights. When you’re just not seeing eye-to-eye and you’re frustrated beyond belief that you can’t come to a resolution, sometimes you just yell at the person “I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT!!!,” put them in a headlock and chase each other around the apartment.
- the sex. Lawd. Yes. When you are so connected with someone that even the bad sex is awesome, just… lawd. I’m gonna take a minute and ponder about this a little longer….
- having a running buddy. You know, when you’re really hungry for a cinnamon roll and the other person says what you’re thinking before you have a chance to, like “I’m hungry for something sweet.” Yeah, that. The gung ho partner in crime, the one who is always up for anything involving you.
- having a best friend. I love my friends and close friends, but they can’t compare to *the* ultimate best friend, your partner in crime, love, and all of the above. I rate my friends based on the X-Men power scale. You know, the most powerful X-Men are at 5, while the weakest are at 1. I’ve only had one 5. Needless to say, I don’t have a 5 anymore, so I miss having someone who gets your wants and needs.
I think it’s also important to let yourself exhibit whatever emotion that comes to you when you realize you miss these things. It’s part of it. It’s why you’re human: your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings. To not procure them is irrational and goes against the laws of nature.
Often times, people (especially men) will stifle or gloss over things like this, but it always comes back to punch you in the balls (or ovaries). To feel it in a blog or with creating art or going to the dog park or crying alone in your apartment… whatever, own it and feel it.
And then realize that you will connect again with someone. It may or may not be as powerful as the first time or even the second, but you will connect (you will be loved).