“The hardest thing to govern is the heart.” — Elizabeth I
I am back in the saddle again and riding the dating horse. Well, I thought there was a saddle, and I thought the horse would be tame this time around. Um no. While I am doing really well at keeping my heart open, the heart is wanting to fall in love now. Right now. And after having just completed my 5-month celibacy challenge recently, my body is screaming to connect as well. My mind, who is writing this post, is like “WTF! Slow down, y’all!”
I’m dating and it feels great to be open again. But dating is frustrating at times. And “What are you looking for?” is quite like negotiating a salary (read as “excruciating”). I think it’s only frustrating because I’ve resisted dating for months so that I concentrate on the work within. And even when you’re focusing on you, you can still crave attention, flirty conversation, etc. So my heart went wild when it was ready to let go.
Despite my heart being King and overruling all of my person, I am more unified than I have ever been. I am not used to being the “feeling all the feelings” person and attempting to be okay with it. It’s uncomfortable and I feel super silly, especially when I get rejected but I’m remembering to just nurse my wounds and keep on being optimistic and open to making new love.
I’m also learning to let go of the confusion of the past. Some things just can’t be figured out. I’m saving my energy for running after my wild heart on this dating prairie. I should probably invest in a harness or rope.